Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops