A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

All of these jokes are about white people

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops