Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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