if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops