What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Obama lin Baden.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops