what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Santa isn't real

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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