what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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