who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops