why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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Why was little Jimmy so sad? Because he was H.I.V. positive

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What did the pepperoni say to the pepper We are both tacos

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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AND

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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