Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Granny porn!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops