Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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breasts

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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ewrg

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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