hey hey apple

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Caroline Kelly.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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knock knock go away!!!

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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your mum

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops