Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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top kek

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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Golf.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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