ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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knock knock go away!!!

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops