I love you very much.

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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youre gay

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

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Jess Burns

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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