Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops