What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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