I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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