Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? A: Not struggling with a debilitating mental or physical handicap.

Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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