A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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kieran is a homosexual

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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