- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Most of her friends have encouraged her to contact the IRS about this to see if she can start a repayment plan for her back-taxes or obtain some sort of federal assistance. Otherwise, Ms. Keller is likely to suffer serious legal consequences.

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

lol

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

your no better than a cockroach

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim. X

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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