Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops