You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Pianos.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops