A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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