What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Male leadership.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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penis

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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