i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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