What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What? Yes.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Connor is homo

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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