A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

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YO FACE

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Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops