What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops