A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops