How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

make me a sandwich! what kind?

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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