What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Women's Rights

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops