How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops