2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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