Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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