Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

A dancer walks into a barre

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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