Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops