Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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my egg roll

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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My name is Will I am a real homosexual

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Q: What's the difference between a polar bear and a washing machine? A: Many things.

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4 hours later.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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