What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock whose there? i don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops