Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a blue whale? A: About 10 pounds.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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whats worse than failing your maths test? getting aids

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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