Knock Knock Who’s there? Wolf Wolf who? Wolf who!? Is that really the first question that comes to mind when confronted with a talking wolf?

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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who is gay wit mon james cornish

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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