A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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im @ work, LOL.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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