A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Rebecca Black

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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Trump will make America great again.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops