How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops