A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops