What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car!

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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