Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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