"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops