What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops