Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Robert Mugabe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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