A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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