Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops