A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did the carpenter cry? Somebody killed his family.

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Women's Rights

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Immigration Laws

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops