A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops