What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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69.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Robert Mugabe.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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