Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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