Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops