-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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knock knock go away!!!

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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