Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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National security?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops