What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Frontbut-

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops